It’s bad enough Star Wars and Transformers were ruined for me, now I have Indiana Jones and GI Joe to do more damage!

Find something original to direct!!!

G.I. Joe as a concept is cool as hell–and that is: assemble some of the best of the best from the U.S. Military and pit them against whacked-out terrorist villians with a flair for the dramatic. Explosions ensue.

And, once again, this is primarily a kid’s franchise. So don’t go expecting gunplay and political machinations and sex and ultra-violence. If you want to take the same concept as above and infuse it with more adult themes, go right ahead. But you can’t call it G.I. Joe. It’s a TOY LINE.

As such, I think the best we can hope for is a fun over-the-top action movie. Throw in some real danger and suspense and cool kung-fu fighting and whatnot, and we’ll be satisifed, as long as we haven’t seen it before, it makes sense within the confines of the movie’s internal logic, and it doesn’t skimp on the ‘cool’ factor. They SHOULD amp it up to a level that ‘normal’ people wouldn’t be capable of, and if the ‘accelerator suits’ help do that, then fine.

Otherwise you have a bunch of people running around not being able to shoot each other. I want something ridiculous and fun–like the last car chase scene in T2: the helicopter shooting at the police van, then it RAMS INTO the police van, then they both have to commandeer other vehicles, then the Terminator has to eventually CLIMB OVER the still-driving trucks and SHOOT THE HOLY HELL out of the T-1000 in the driver’s seat. Realistic? No. But because they’re robots (i.e. have special abilities), we accept it. Awesome? Hell yes. Or the whole car chase in The Matrix Reloaded–again, not in any way realistic, but it still made sense according to the movie, and it was still jaw-droppingly awesome. And not THAT violent. Yes, there was a lot of shooting, but no-one visibly dies (from what I remember), so the same sort of guidlines should be adhered to for G.I. Joe.

As long as they do something like that, I think we’re in for a decent experience.

If they decide to not have the main characters do anything except for three things like some other recent franchise movie (*coughtransformerscough*), it will suck even worse than the photos would have us believe.

Did any cartoons in the 90s have an episode that featured a kidnapped protagonist that is forced to watch his family melt in front of his eyes? Hello GI Joe! Shipwreck and most childhoods won’t be the same. God Bless America (pre PC BS).

Joe has a ton of source material, anyone who’s ever read the comics knows this. However, don’t hold your breath. Spare me the nano crap and the super friends suits - give me a Black Hawk Down GI Joe instead. I want my Real American Hero to look like a soldier.

Suits that give the Joes superpowers? Nanomachines?

What the fuck is wrong with lasers?

That might be stuff that could be cool in another movie, but if you’re gonna change the feel of the source material so much, why bother?

The kind of forced-cool they’re putting into this movie reminds me of the same hackneyed approach that’s being taken with Wanted.

Now it sounds worst than before.

the whole thing sounds very cool…
…if you are 8.