“Me?!?”
Peter and I discussed doing an item on real life Sarah Marshalls who are angered and perplexed in the wake of ubiquitous Forgetting Sarah Marshall marketing, but instead we just waited for The Onion to blow it up like a sand castle. Alas, Zap2It has struck first, and even though the site seemingly only found three vocal Sarah Marshalls (we wanted 1,000 “No fair!”’s) in the United States, the “over it” comments provided by these two unfortunate-named gals are unforgettable…
“They’re everywhere, and they’re so annoying,” says Sarah Marshall the Glendora student, who lives three blocks from one of the billboards. Adults called her parents to ask if she was the target of a hate campaign. “I wish they specified that it’s a movie.” - Sarah Marshall, high school senior, Glendora, California
And this pet rock of a gem…
“I got a lot of e-mails and phone calls asking if my boyfriend and I were OK.” - Sarah Marshall, advertising student, Fort Worth, Texas
And for every glum Sarah Marshall, there’s one Sarah Marshall who goes with it (though, she’s also an “Edmond”)…
“I’ll have to see it now.” - Sarah Marshall Edmond, special-ed teacher, Connecticut
Discuss: Everyone comment as an angry/sad/stupid Sarah Marshall and see how long it goes before a non-SM crashes the party…
March 31st, 2008 at 6:03 pm
This is offensive. Sarah Marshalls, including me, are nice girls.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I blame the Taliban.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:08 pm
NOT COOL YOU GUYS.
WHAT IF THERE WAS A MOVIE CALLED SLASHFILM BLOWS?
I DIGRESS.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I am the real Sarah Marshall… I swear to god I will fly a plane into anyone who phones my house again and calls me an ungrateful bitch.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Someone, please make a movie called Slashfilm Blows! :P
March 31st, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I am not a douche bag… I don’t even use one. I wouldnt know what a douchebag looks like.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:10 pm
My beard hurts! It hurts! My beard hurts!
March 31st, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Peter sucks at Jenga.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Do
I
Count
Too?
March 31st, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I pooped on the floor… does that mean I have to eat it now?
March 31st, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I am dying from complications due to AIDs.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:16 pm
When I fart… there is blood in my panties.
Is it because I am A lying bitch?
March 31st, 2008 at 6:16 pm
I agree with Sarah Marshall above, it is not polite to discriminate against girls named Sarah Marshall. A cop pulled me over and asked for my ID yesterday and I had to tell him I forgot it. I can’t say what happened next, but it was embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as seeing me called fat on a billboard in Los Angeles where I work as a ballerina.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:17 pm
god i have a stupid common name why are there so many of us out there i hate it i just hate it. you all may think its a joke but this is my life i am not going to see this movie because of all this attention i just want my normal life back screw everyone involved with this film.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I smell like the boot of a lesbian fisherman/bitch.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:19 pm
[gun going off]
March 31st, 2008 at 6:21 pm
How many tears must I shed with my sisters until /Film apologizes for our plight?
March 31st, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Slashfilm Blows would be a very risque horror flick. Because, as you can see, this is a website dedicated to horror.
In fact, how about Zombie Strippers 2: Slashfilm Blows!
Keep the exclamation point for good measure…
March 31st, 2008 at 6:24 pm
This website is promoting hate. I will sue you Hunter Stephenson. IF that is your REAL Name. I will take everything you have away from you, and then I will make sure you are raped by a man.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:29 pm
It always has to be gay rape with you Sarah Marshall!
March 31st, 2008 at 6:30 pm
You have my permission to put all those photos and videos you have of me blowing you on the internet.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Poop can tastes like chocolate if you smoke enough crystal meth.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Wow, I wasn’t aware that this blogs readers were so creative.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:42 pm
alexfromqueenssucks at jenga.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:46 pm
@ alexfromqueens
That’s because the world’s Sarah Marshalls rarely read Slashfilm.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I’ll Kick your Asses … Shaolin Style.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:53 pm
This is hilarious!!!11!1!!!
Its so cool seeing my name in a movie!!1!!1.
I am not retarded.
March 31st, 2008 at 7:18 pm
all of us here need to rise above the media’s portrayl of us as evil join my cause because in the end WE ARE SARAH MARSHALL
March 31st, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Why? Why me. Fuck you Judd Apatow!!!!
Hehe.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Oh c’mon!
March 31st, 2008 at 9:23 pm
mnurrr nuh burrrrnnnur ulurnurr buuuuh.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:27 pm
She was such an hero, to take it all away. We miss her so, That you should know, And we honor her this day. She was an hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind. God do we wish we could take it back, And now she’s on our minds. Sarah was an hero, to leave us feeling like this, Our minds are rubber, our joints don’t work, Our tears fall into abyss. She was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn’t his task, She shouldn’t have had to go that way, before a decade’d past. Now she sits there in my heart, this hero of mine, Always there to make me smile, Make me feel just fine. She had courage,that girl did, courage in her heart. To take that shot, To end her pain, To tear us all apart. But in the end, she died in courage. Lacking, nevermore, She died a hero, Sarah did, And we’ll love her forevermore. We love you like a sister. We miss you so much. We will always love you, kid. Rest In Peace Sarah. ~Lila
March 31st, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Oh Slashfilm,
No matter how bad you treat me, I’ll always be your favorite harlot.
hearts and bananas,
Sarah Marshall
April 1st, 2008 at 4:26 am
they’re all over sydney too, i saw one in central station, although marshall isn’t a popular name down here
April 1st, 2008 at 9:02 am
I say we take this to DC. Sarah Marshall’s of the world unite. We must march to Washington to bring light to all these unwarranted attacks directed at us just because of our name! The Million Marshall March - open their eyes, end the hate!
April 1st, 2008 at 5:23 pm
and take a bow cause i RAWK HARD!!
April 18th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
heres something i want to share with you don’t read this. hello who ever yah any way ,i am sueing for 100,000 dollars .but even though i don’t know you i still hate you now i’m just playingyou i love you guys all right have a good night good night bby now.