Uwe Boll may not be the most popular director out there today.
Uwe Boll might not be the most innovative director out there today.
But one thing you can not deny is that Uwe Boll is an absolute GENIUS!
Boll has announced his sinister plans to release Postal on May 23rd, going head to head against Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Boll has declared war against Steven Spielberg:
“On the Indiana Jones weekend - May 23 - we will go out and destroy Indiana Jones in the Box Office! We all know that Harrison Ford is older as my grandpa and his time is up - would Michael Moore say!”
“Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with War of the Worlds (why the fuck the older brother survived?) and also in parts of Jaws, E.T., Munich etc.! My performance in Postal as ‘Nazi Theme Park Owner’ outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler’s List!”
This move will likely have a HUGE impact on the Indy 4’s bottom line. I hear that Paramount is terrified and is already discussing options to move Indiana Jones to another date, to avoid competition from Boll’s latest masterpiece. </sarcasm>
Discuss: Can Steven Spielberg even hope to compete against Uwe Boll at the box office?
source: BloodyDisgusting
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:17 pm
What the bloody hell? I hate to complain but can you please remove this story from the site. This guy doesn’t need anymore press or attention. He needs to fade away like a bad rash.
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:23 pm
There is no way Spielberg will be able to compete with Boll! LOL
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:30 pm
thats awesome. lol
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:30 pm
wow!, an Hugo Chavez of the film industry.
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Who is Uwe Boll ?
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I personally like Boll’s work. His movies suck more dick than a Vietnamese whore during the Vietnam war, true, but I mean I love them for that value. My friends and I so enjoy getting together, renting a few Boll movies, and laughing at how terrible they are.
People wanna say this furthers the man’s career, that he isn’t a real movie maker and disgraces the movie industry. Bull fucking shit. If you don’t like his stuff, for whatever reason, then shut up and stop complaining he is “killing the movie industry” when clearly things such as horrible remakes, average blockbusters, and less than funny will ru of the mill comedy’s are really the cause.
Sure Boll sucks, and sure his movies suck. He is a genius, because in the end he somehow ends up making money, because of the weird German tax system which pays him to make bad movies. Whatever, if you don’t like him or his stuff then just let him fade away, and those of us who get a kick out of starring at the puss leaking out of that bad rash will keep on watching.
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Uwe Boll is an idiot. He’s desperate. The only good thing about his move is that it’s yet another proof that “Postal” will tank. And when it does, so will his “career”.
Indy 4 FTW!
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Teehee
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Boll can die.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Seriously, look out Judd Apatow. Boll’s been the greatest comedy director for years now and nobody’s picked up on it yet.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Boll will dominate the box-office for weeks with this masterpiece, Indiana Jones might as well go straight to DVD because there is no way it could ever, ever, out-preform this!
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:32 pm
You gotta give Boll credit. He’s got some balls.
Seriously, though, I doubt it was Boll who chose the release date (I’ve never heard of ANY director getting to pick the date). I guarantee what happened was the company releasing Postal knows it’s shit, marked it for the same opening weekend as Indy 4 so that when Postal bombs, they can blame it on Indy 4. Happens all the time.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:56 pm
You realize he made this statement so people like you would post about it thus gaining him free publicity.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:07 pm
its gonna be a BOLLbath
instead of blood i said BOLL
you see what i did there
hilarious
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:35 pm
uwe boll pisses me off but this is kindof awesome actually.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Uwe Boll is still alive?!
Can this site be Uwe Boll-Free, please?
March 4th, 2008 at 12:20 am
I offered Uwe Boll the film rights of my new novell, he never answered me.
I’m kind of angry about him.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:50 am
i normally defend even some of the shittier directors on this site, as filmaking is a very difficult craft that suffers to backseat critics on a daily basis. however…this guy IS the definition of HACK (the definition we have all been debating over lately), and i hope he is never allowed near a camera again. although i must admit that his utter stupidity is pretty funny.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:44 am
I hope Uwe Boll dies in a car crash on Sunset trapped in a burning car. What a wate of time for you to even report what he is doing, hasn’t he robbed you of at least 3 hrs of your life? Shame on you /Film.
PS I hope TMZ gets it on tape.
Fuckin loser.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:47 am
A German filmmaker declaring war on a Jewish one. This ought to end well…
March 4th, 2008 at 2:48 am
Peter, that was a hilarious post! I really don’t know what Spielberg is going to do. He must be sweating golden tears in his Dreamworks office about Postal’s release date. That’s really gonna hurt business for Indy 4!
March 4th, 2008 at 4:30 am
Michael Knox:
I don’t believe that’s exactly what we all had in mind, the man may be a horrible director and from what I can tell an very un-intelligent human being but wish death on someone isn’t something that you should probably avoid as it just makes YOU look pathetic.. even if the man directed House of the Dead.
March 4th, 2008 at 4:42 am
May Boll mean this ironical? I think you take this a little too serious.
March 4th, 2008 at 5:15 am
Dead god that ugly ass pic of him that you photoshopped makes me want to kill him. TAKE IT DOWN. BOLL SUCKS! Don’t see his movies! He needs to go away like a bad rash
March 4th, 2008 at 6:08 am
What he says is true, Bloodrayne was a masterpiece…ok…I’m lying, truth is I think Uwe Boll is a top-notch D-Bag.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:32 am
He does raise a good question: How did the older brother survive in War of the Worlds?
(Of course, I’m assuming that the answer is going to be something obvious that I missed, but regardless, I’m curious.)
March 4th, 2008 at 6:37 am
his not asking HOW, he is asking WHY.
Boll is an idiotic D-Bag
March 4th, 2008 at 9:44 am
LoL! This post made me laugh.
I hope Indy 4 can survive the ..er…competition! =P
March 4th, 2008 at 10:40 am
We always knew Indy was a Boll-buster.
Ah, but seriously folks, this strategy would’ve worked back when the last Indy flick came out–back when theaters didn’t have 20 screens to show movies on. If it was still the 1980s, Indy 4 would’ve sold out and someone would turn to someone else and say, ‘Dang, we came all the way to the theater to see this great movie we wanted to watch, and now we can’t. Hey, I know–let’s see a big steaming pile like Postal instead.’
March 4th, 2008 at 11:24 am
If it makes anyone here feel better (which I’m sure it won’t) I won’t be seeing either in theatre.
Cable release to rule them both!
March 4th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Since he makes movies based on games, he had better not make God of War, if he does I will personally assassinate him myself, this guy has no talent and has a big ego that seems to get bigger when people talk trash about his movies, so how about we say nothing about him and he’ll fade away.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Obviously this post is just a joke…and pretty funny I think. The guy hasn’t broke $3M in his last 3 opening weekends and is now setting himself up to not even clear $1M. How he has so many projects is beyond understanding.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Remember guys, this is why Normandy/D-Day happened.
March 4th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Normally I could not see how this would even cause a problem, but seeing as how this was the year that cinema goers put ‘Meet the Spartans’ at the top of the box office, its going to be clear that people will go and see the ridiculous looking Postal instead of the much more promising Indiana Jones 4.
That being said, Indiana Jones 4 could turn out to be a total disappoinment, kinda like Spiderman 3. Could also be the case that Postal becomes one of the better films of the year, anything can happen in Hollywood at the moment.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
BOLL-SHIT
March 4th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Say what you will, he had a point about “War of the Worlds.” It really pissed me off that the son lived …
March 5th, 2008 at 1:08 am
Blurch…
I just through up in my mouth a little bit.
March 6th, 2008 at 5:43 am
Boll=german
speilberg=jewish
anyone else seeing this
March 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Granted Uwe’s films are sub-par at best, but I’m curious to find out if any of you have actually SEEN and Uwe film…or are all your comments just a “me too” mob? I love how all the comments really have nothing to say except “Uwe sucks” or (my personal favorite) “Boll-Shit”
Challenge: Either see Postal and come up with something EDUCATED and CONSTRUCTIVE to say about it…or if you reeeeally hate Boll m-o-v-e o-n. No one’s forcing you to see his movies or acknowledge (another favorite slur) “Kaiser Douchebag’s” existence
March 27th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
BOLL WORK ON NINJA ASSAULT.
Uwe Boll will not touch the Indiana Jones so he won’t make the movie so I think for Mr Boll to make another video game movie based on the old Namco/Sega arcade game Ninja Assault.
Ninja Assault was a good game but the plot is bad so the plot will be set in the year 1620 where the evil Shogun Kagai is back from the dead and he sets to marry two very special women so now the three ninjas alone with Jack Allen the Amercian merchant and a group of bounty hunters must hunt down Kagai and his demons and save two girls.
Ninja Assault will be Boll’s low budget movie.
So leave with that.
Thank you.
BRUCE ACOSTA
AUSTRALIA.
April 9th, 2008 at 6:34 am
In response, I will go see IJ:4 on opening day and never by my own free will watch Postal.
April 10th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Let’s see. Watch Spielberg rape the Indiana Jones legacy, or a Uwe Boll movie. I think I’ll stay home, avoid “Postal”, and check out Indiana Jones when it comes out on BitTorrent.