“The voice is mine.”
Oooh, K.I.T.T. voice draaama! Friend of the world’s beaches and former Batman and Real Genius, Val Kilmer, has signed on to voice the smooth-computin’ automobile in the latest TV-reboot of Knight Rider for NBC and Universal. Will Kilmer’s K.I.T.T. (Knight Industries Three Thousand) do a passable Elvis impersonation and fire a laser that pops a billion golden kernals? I don’t know wise guy, but I do know that actor Will Arnett (Arrested Development) is right bummed right now. Arnett had already finished recording all of his voice work for the rebooted show, which premieres in just two weeks, see? And before you swipe Kilmer’s jolly hand away as it attempts to steal Arnett’s gooey, delicious voice of K.I.T.T., know this: it isn’t Kilmer’s fault, see?
In one of the silliest signs of a world run amok in corporate Brawndo tie-ins, Arnett has done commercial voice work in the past for General Motors, and K.I.T.T., see, is a Ford Mustang. Kablowski! That invisible line in the industrial sandbox? Well, Arnett just crossed it. But he still had time to jump back over said line, cover his tracks and allow Kilmer to swing in using a vine made from his absolutely batshit resume to save the day and grab a nice payday (PayDay?).
“I was very excited at the prospect of playing the part of KITT in the new ‘Knight Rider’ movie,” Arnett said to Variety. “However, because of a long relationship with General Motors as the voice of GMC Trucks, I had to respectfully withdraw from the project.”
So, all is well. The two-hour Knight Rider TV-movie-slash-pilot will still air as scheduled on February 17th, 2008. In fact, now you’re probably going to watch it. Right?
Ha ha ha. Showbiz casting finesse, people. So natural is it to Kilmer that he should scribe a mantra-filled business tomb like Norman Podhoretz’s classic Making It. And the man also needs to introduce his own suntan lotion and popcorn with his mug on them a la Paul Newman. And maybe the tanning butter can be edible-slash-a-condiment. Did I mention that Kilmer also cut a country album with a cover that ripped off Nirvana’s font/’90s imagery? You can stream it here. It’s pretty good, pritty, pritty Kilmer. I sent the link to Peter a while ago, but he didn’t respond. He was biz.
Will you respond? How about writing a haiku to/about Val Kilmer in the comments? If you do it, I’ll do it, and then maybe Val will do it and we can make a movie about the global sensation and dance underwater with a talking car.
February 6th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
more like fat kilmer
February 6th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
@ethanhedman
aim higher, shall we?
February 6th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Noooo! But I guess Kilmer might need something to exercise his jowls other than a sack of maple bars garnished with a herd of roasted pigs.
February 6th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
More like Val FATmer.
February 6th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I think Val Kilmer’s voice seems like it would fit this part better than Will Arnett’s.
February 6th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
It looks like Will Arnett made a huge mistake. Get it? Anyone? C’MON!
But seriously. This sucks. Will Arnett as KITT was the only reason I was going to watch Knight Rider, but not anymore.
February 7th, 2008 at 1:46 am
Y’know NBC could have picked another GM car as K.I.T.T. instead of vying for the ever popular Chick-Stang! It would have made sense to most people anyway seeing as how NBC seems to be GM whores (not that I don’t love GM, I drive a Blazer) anyway.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:12 am
I think you are overthinking this Mr Stephenson.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:18 am
more like fat fatmer.
February 7th, 2008 at 7:11 am
Hunter, your writing style, again, proves to be… unique.
February 7th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Val Kilmer to play
Knight Industries Three Thousand
Iceman is now K.I.T.T.
February 7th, 2008 at 7:59 am
more like jabba the kilmer.
February 7th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Holy cow… is that a recent photo? What the hell happened?
Vic
February 7th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Voiceover acting
Is fall-back skill for those who
Stuff face with Twinkies
February 7th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
So now there are zero reasons to watch this show. Unless they write in a dumbass talking car to be voiced by Robert Downey Jr.
February 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
@ Will & Confucius
Nice ones!
Here’s my attempt.
On the last day
Buddha Make Kilmer
Now Let’s Partaay
February 7th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Val’s done a Langella.
You kids are probably too young to remember, but back in the day Frank Langella was once a hottie. I always wondered if he changed his look on purpose to be taken more seriously as an actor and not so much as a pretty-boy. Here’s my haiku:
Scoffed at Batman fran-
chise; now voicing 80’s re-tread;
How tastes humble pie?
February 7th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
As long as Val doesn’t sing.
W.O.W.
http://www.myspace.com/valkilmermusic
February 7th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Oh, come on. “Skeet Surfin’” in Top Secret was an awesome song!
William Daniels still seemed like he could do this little job.
February 7th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Val Kilmer as Ice, Batman, The Saint, Doc Holiday, Jim Morrison kicked ass. I’ve always been impressed with his acting. Don’t forget Real Genius, Island of Dr Moreau, Heat, and Ghost and the Darkness!
Its actually depressing to see him so bulky. Is it a medical issue? I almost didnt recognize him in Deja Vu. If its not a medical problem that guys got to get his self respect back.
I’ll be your Huckleberry.
February 8th, 2008 at 7:00 am
@Simon Templar
Yes his weight gain a medical problem.
I would think it is obvious to everyone that he has developed a serious thyroid condition. :)
February 8th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Remaking old TV Shows, is that the new thing? American Gladiators, Knight Rider? What next, M.A.S.H.?
February 9th, 2008 at 4:04 am
i am gonn watch it for sure ..
am a fan … hehe …
February 11th, 2008 at 2:08 am
Will Arnett is the MAN! It sucks that he won’t be the voice of KITT, but at least now he has more free time to do more awesome movies. I mean, did you see him in ‘Hot Rod’? He was one of the only consistently funny people in that film, as he was in “Let’s Go To Prison’ and ‘Blades Of Glory’.
I guess Kilmer will do. After all, he WAS in ‘TOP SECRET!’ (”If everybody had a shot gun/ And a surf board too!”).
I’m just pissed that some Hollywood jag-off had to go and remake an awesome ’80’s TV show. AGAIN. Just leave them alone! It’s bad enough we have to deal with these stupid reality shows, like ‘I love New York’, a show about mother/daughter transvestites and their cadre of third-string gigolos. Now we get remakes of TV shows. ‘Bionic Woman’, Battlestar Galactica, and now Knight Rider.
How soon before we get ‘Three’s Company’ back? Or maybe ‘Married…With Children’! Or how about ‘ I Had Three Wives’? Trust me- the same virginal fanboys who are about to chastise me for insinuating ill-will toward ‘Battlestar’ will remember that show. I’d bet a new pair of Chewbacca trap-door jammies!
February 11th, 2008 at 2:22 am
And another thing!! Why couldn’t you have gotten Bruce Campbell to play KITT? And how long until the obligatory cameo by the Hoff? Or Edward Mulhare? Oh, wait- he died. Well, then get Michael Caine to do it- those two were pretty much interchangeable anyway.
All I know is that the new guy better have a sweet ass whiteboy ‘fro! The Hoff would hate to have to grow his out and kick some newbie ass…
February 11th, 2008 at 7:35 am
From Willow to washed up…. He has done some decent flicks, like H.E.A.T. However I’m not sure he had any lines in that one :)
February 17th, 2008 at 9:24 am
more like fat fatfat.
February 17th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
its been on 36 minutes now, and damn it sucks. the voice of val kilmer doesnt fit. the car is too unbeleivable…paint changing colors. the acting is horrible. and yes, i miss the trans am. tv these days is just terrible. there isnt anything worth watching anymore.
February 17th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I guess it may be because I’m older. I thought the show was pretty good. It was a whole lot better than any of the reality shows. What gets me is they call them reality shows but they have NO reality about them. Most people I would think watch
tv to get away from reality. I know I do. I want something
that will help me forget about what happened during my day
that wasn’t as good as I had hoped it would be. With all the
other programs that are off the wall I thought this was a nice program that could be watched by the whole family. We
need more of them and if it takes remaking the 80’s that
is what we need to do. Most of the children that are watching
TV today don’t have the privlege of having a parent that can
sit and watch programs with them and explain that things
really don’t happen that way and that the bad guys aren’t the ones you want to emulate.
February 17th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
More like Jabba the FATmer.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:28 am
I was a fan of the original, saw and disliked the first attempt at a wrap up of the show (Knight Rider 2000) anyone? anyone?
I wanted to like this show, so I gave it a fair chance. Know what? I thought it wasn’t half bad. Fictional shows should be silly, they should be so ridiculous that you should be saying “that can’t be real” or “that’ll leave a mark”, or “one man, can make a difference”.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:29 am
One last thing …. don’t bring back the green hornet
February 27th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I gave it about 15 minutes. Say what you want about 80’s tv or cheeseball special effects. At least the old show didn’t need to resort to an opening shot of the main character bunking with two women. Not even the Hoff was that tacky.
Simple fun long gone.
New shows: edgy revamp. Shout,
and I ignore you.