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“Mortimer, it sucks being homeless, how will we ever get back on top?” “Well, Randolph, you can start by giving me some of the blanket.” “Mortimer! I’ve got it! TransformersThe Movie…The Ride!” “Randolph, we’re back!…No, wait, that’s already been announced.”

IESB reports with much enthusiasm that Paramount Pictures and Hasbro are planning to bring the Autobots and Decepticons where only Jaws, King Kong, Indiana Jones and millions of pissed off, sunburnt families have gone before! The theme park. Whether that means the rumored Transformers “dark ride,” which usually means an indoors adventure ride heavy on the visuals and effects and not a “holy *$%&” rollercoaster, will be located in creaky, old America or Monopoly-monied Dubai, is unknown, but Paramount is said to want the ride up and running sometime after the 2009 release of Transformers 2 but before Transformers 3. So, get your child planning for the next 10 years in order! Actually, you have more like three to four years, but hey, it’s Friday.

This mysterious modern marvel of amusement rides is said to share a resemblance to Disneyland’s Indiana Jones Adventure ride, complete with “life size transforming” characters and possibly, “an amphibious vehicle that guests will board and quickly find themselves in the middle of a battle between the warring giant robotic space aliens.”

So, do you wanna ride the snake Transformer?


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5 Responses to “Transformers: The Ride”

  1. Gravatar

    I can totally see this at one of the Universal theme parks (Orlando, or Hollywood). But really, with all the revamping that Universal Orlando is doing (”Harry Potter Land”, the new Simpson’s ride that’s in development, and the relatively new “Revenge of the Mummy” roller-coaster), I would place my bets on the Orlando theme park to be the future home of this ride.

  2. Gravatar

    I dig the referral to Trading Places and Coming to America

  3. Gravatar

    I dig the Jim Carrey SNL skit reference…. Kudo’s Hunter.
    You got some serious weird shit rolling around in your head.

    oh, and thanks a lot for the “Top that” link from a previous post of yours….I cant get that stupid song outta my head now. :P

  4. Gravatar

    @Zachy & R&J

    Salute.

  5. Gravatar

    If its a dark ride, I can see it going to a Vegas Mega Hotel/Casino…maybe next to Star Trek:The Experience at the L.V. Hilton…another Paramount franchise.

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