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Whip It: Photoshopped Ellen PageAfter she’s done filming the lesbian werewolf movie Jack and Diane, might Juno starlet Ellen Page slip into a pair of roller skates for Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut?

Unless another famous gal’s name rhymes with “Shmellen Shmage,” that’s what Shauna Cross, author of the novel Derby Girl and its adapted screenplay Whip It, tells Film School Rejects. Page would play Bliss, a “pretty, precocious teen full of sarcasm and wit and hijnks” growing up outside of Austin, Texas, who discovers a female roller derby. It’s Juno…on lil’ polyurethane wheels! I kid.

Anyone thinking that the film’s title is self explanatory should know that “whip it” is a roller skating term, as in, “she’s whipping the jammer.” Man, that is fun to say. Cross, a former L.A. Derby Doll named Maggie Mayhem, says that the flick will be the first to capture the sport with “multiple cameras and great editing,” playfully adding, “It’s going to be sick, yo.” She’s like Diablo Cody…on skates! And no, there’s still no word if the trailer will rock out to Devo. There is no trailer, duh. But you just know it’s gonna.


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5 Responses to “Ellen Page to Star in Drew Barrymore’s Whip It?”

  1. Gravatar

    Great picture! Now, if only Ellen Page were built like that…

  2. Gravatar

    Agreed

  3. Gravatar

    no, please don’t stick her in another precocious role. let her enjoy her youth!

  4. Gravatar

    Don’t do it Ellen!

    “Page would play Bliss, a pretty, precocious teen full of sarcasm and wit and hijnks”

    Don’t paint yourself into a corner. Or is that all you’ve got?

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