Jessica Simpson’s new movie Blonde Ambition was released on 8 screens this weekend in Jessica’s home state of Texas, before it gets dumped on DVD next month (January 22nd 2008 to be exact). /Film correspondent Steve Mason sent us this hilarious report:
As has been reported, Jessica is dating Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, and she was at Texas Stadium last Sunday when Romo had his all-time worst performance ever against the Philadelphia Eagles All week long, Jessica has been public enemy #1 with Cowboy fans. Fans of America’s team believe that “Romessica” will derail the Cowboys on the way to the Super Bowl in Arizona on February 3.
Blonde Ambition averaged $48 per screen on Friday for a total box office of $384. Based on an $8 ticket price, that means that 6 people paid to see the movie at each of those theatres, and only 48 people went to see the movie! That’s amazing! One of the worst performances a movie has ever had.
I am projecting that Jessica’s “star vehicle” will gross just $1,190 this weekend or $149 per location.
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:04 pm
This is fantastic news.
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:21 pm
no one will care until she’s topless
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:35 pm
sir jorge is right.
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:57 pm
there is a theatre in this country that only charges $8 to see a new release?
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:59 pm
my local theater is $8 for a new release, soundoftheground.
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:03 pm
HAHA! Wow…That is too awesome. I’m actually surprised that even 48 people paid to see that crap. I’m sure after it was all over those 48 people probably wanted their money back too…
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Dude.
Walk Hard.
This is so sad. This movie is amazing. Dammit.
What a weird weekend. It’s like setting off five fire works and most including the best one fizzled. WompWomp!!
December 22nd, 2007 at 7:40 pm
You guys should be aware that Perez hilton has plagiarized this article verbatim crediting himself.
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:01 pm
If Texas had to choose between Jesus and football, Jesus would be fucked.
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:14 pm
Who cares if the movie suuucks, let’s see them titties!!!11
December 23rd, 2007 at 12:27 am
that’s hilarious! maybe Jessica should go back to singing? NOT!
December 23rd, 2007 at 12:28 am
that’s hilarious! maybe Jessica should go back to singing? NOT!
i have Jessica Simpson nipples on my blog!don’t wait for a topless Jessica, that won’t happen soon.
December 23rd, 2007 at 1:08 am
@soundoftheground
There isn’t a theater for 50 miles of my house that charges more than 7.50 for a movie (Adult ticket, Friday and Saturday nights only), and most are under 4.50 if you go to a matinée.
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:10 am
I’d pay her 400 bucks to sleep with her…
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:41 am
a dvd-screener copy of this movie was leaked online a week ago… and i still didnt click to DL it.. but maybe that hurt sales?
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:43 am
6053 DLs as of now… so factor that in if you want
December 23rd, 2007 at 3:12 am
Wow, not bad. I bet a lot more people will download it though.
December 23rd, 2007 at 3:27 am
Looks like she farted with an open flame in that cover.
December 23rd, 2007 at 3:27 am
I read your blog everyday religously and this article just made me spit my beer all over my computer. I’ve been in movies that did 1000 times that, hilarious. Nice post.
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:42 am
This has a lot more to do with lack of promotion or advertising then anything else. I’ve seen wretched movies do well all because of good promotion and frequent advertising. The less advertising you do, the less likely you will be a success.
Uwe Boll knows this, hence why people go to see his movies knowing full and well that they’ll be complete crap.
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:42 am
I wish I was an all star quaterback
December 23rd, 2007 at 7:50 am
I’d pay to see her in a porno.
December 23rd, 2007 at 8:26 am
How many of the 48 people walked out during the first 5 minutes?
December 23rd, 2007 at 9:33 am
The sad fact is people just like to have certain singers/actors to dump on, Somehow, it must make them feel more accomplished in their own life.
I along with others have viewed many movies that critics claimed were horrible and found them to be great. Movies are purely subjective to the individual viewer.
December 23rd, 2007 at 9:49 am
So apparently everybody else downloaded the movie. If it wasn’t for pirates it would have grossed millions of bucks. Or so I’ve been told.
December 23rd, 2007 at 10:03 am
Hey, Tyler! Tony Romo wishes HE was an all-star quarterback.
To blame Jessica Simpson for Romo’s pathetic display on the field against the Eagles is quite asinine. Just goes to show the mentality of some of those so called “Cowboys fans”. Blame someone who isn’t on the field playing for that disaster, eh? Makes a lot of sense to me.
It’s a shame that her movies don’t get the promotion that other films do. Maybe if the writers put out quality material, then, possibly the film might not have been such a disaster. I live in Texas and didn’t even know they were screening her new movie down here. But I guess I’ll wait until they release it on DVD, which won’t be long.
Cheers!
December 23rd, 2007 at 10:37 am
I don’t know which is funnier. That 48 people went to see Jessica Simpson’s new movie, or that 43 people have responded to this.
December 23rd, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Impressive, but Zyzzyx Road is still the champ.
December 23rd, 2007 at 1:58 pm
OWNED! kek kek kek
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:48 pm
“Romessica” - that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Anyone else think this merging of names idea is stupid?
December 23rd, 2007 at 3:47 pm
she should do porn!
December 23rd, 2007 at 3:58 pm
DimeForever, please forget how to type.
December 23rd, 2007 at 4:11 pm
People are actually defending Jessica Simpson and this movie? Just a question…What does Jessica Simspson laying around in her underwear have to do with the story in this movie? That’s some shameless marketing.
“Hey lets just put Jessica Simpson in some booty shorts on the cover! That will sell our movie!”
pssshhhh…
December 23rd, 2007 at 4:40 pm
The trailer doesn’t look too bad, but whoever thought Simpson could be a box office draw is probably lying in a ditch in the desert somewhere as I write this. It should never have hit the big screen and should have gone straight to DVD or the Net in the first place.
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:37 pm
i’m seriously ready to make a “leave jessica alone” video and upload it to youtube. question: was she wearing those undies at any point of that movie? if so, i’ll be getting that dvd from blockbuster tomorrow.
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:57 pm
I the beginning of this movie at Joox and it is really bad, Really!!! in the first scene there are 2 bad cuts and jessica simpsons acting is horrifing.
this news made me very happy.
December 23rd, 2007 at 8:45 pm
You people are assholes. This movie is great, I loved it so much I’ve seen it 48 times!
December 23rd, 2007 at 8:46 pm
@ Joe
HAHAHAHA!
December 23rd, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Are they sure it wasn’t just 42?
December 23rd, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Austin, TX - Ass Press.
Well, it looks like someone made a big mistake. Yes, it is true, the movie grossed $384.00, but 48 people did not see the movie. The number was actually 2, one person paid $8, the other person was charged $376 in an obvious credit card overcharge error. Surprisingly, American Express’ famous dispute resolution guaranty does not factor in on this situation as purchase of a ticket to any Jessica Simpson movie is in direct violation of the card member agreement, voiding all rights and responsibilities.”
The theater employee that rang up the overcharge stated, “Ya, I knew I over charged the bastard, but I had no idea he would have the balls to report it!”
December 24th, 2007 at 6:48 am
I don’t care I still would pay anything to go down on her. She is the ultimate sex bomb — I worship her.
December 24th, 2007 at 7:11 am
$6.00 Matinee
$8.50 Ticket Price
I saw and took a guest to 2 movies this weekend. [Nat'l Treasure, Dewey Cox] and saw P.S. I Love You as a matinee….. so $40 on movies this weekend alone… but man…. that sucks for Jessica…. no one likes her at all right now… Cowboys fans, Texas, Movie goers, people with an IQ of 68 or above….. I feel bad…. wait no i dont..
December 24th, 2007 at 7:28 am
She is the sexiest woman alive. Nothing matters more than Jessica. I worship her. She is god. I will do anything for her.
December 24th, 2007 at 9:11 am
No one is more important than my goddess Jessica.
December 24th, 2007 at 10:19 am
Lee has issues and maybe someone needs to send this to Jessica so she can get a restraining order
December 24th, 2007 at 11:58 am
wow. jessica is really sucking it nowadays. i wonder who the two people that saw it were?
maybe hobos….
December 25th, 2007 at 8:46 am
I actually downloaded the DVDSCR and watched the entire move. It is surprisingly good for what it is.
December 26th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Lol.. The theater must have PAID these people to watch the movie! XD
December 30th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
wait wait wait a minute…haha i didn’t even know she had a movie coming out and you telling me that only 48 people went to see it…lame i know she can do better than that maybe she should get back with Nick atleast then more people would watch the shows she’s on.
December 30th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
DimeForever has obviously never played sports, because some people get flustered up when their special someone comes to see them play. If I was dating Jessica, I probably would have played worse than Tony, if I the same talent as Romo of course, because Ms. Simpson is just too damn fine. And if I could Make-A-Wish it would be for her to sit on my face! Can I get a hell yeah?
December 30th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
this movie must suck. i never even heard of it
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Her movie grossed about what a family in a mini van would spend at McDonalds on an average meal maybe?!?…