Transformers is a movie based not on a television show, comic book character, novel or cartoon, but instead a line of toys. Sure, Transformers has been there, and done that - but it all started as a toyline. It amazes me that Hollywood has to reach that far to find the next “sure thing.” But thankfully the concept is a good one. How can you go wrong with big alien robots fighting each other? Answer: You really can’t. Truth is, Transformers is the film I’ve been looking the most forward to in this summer of threequels. And it didn’t disappoint.
But you must enter into such a movie knowing that story will not take precedent. It’s probably the last thing on the list. Alien creatures have come to earth in search for a cube that could help create a new world for their near-extinct race. Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is the grandson of an explorer who discovered Megatron frozen in the Arctic Ocean. It gets even more ridiculous. Before going into a comatose state Megatron used the last of his energy to engrave a map, showing the location of the Allspark cube, into the Captain’s glasses, and send a transmission to Cybertron. And Sam, aka usename Ladiesman, has put the glasses on eBay in hopes of raising some last minute funds for his first car. Still with me? And as Bernie Mac says, “You don’t choose your first car, your first car chooses you.” But to Sam’s surprise, the car that chose him is an Autobot in disguise named Bumblebee, who has been sent to protect him. And there is a government conspiracy, a group of college age kids who are trying to break a code, a group of US military survivors who have a photo of one of the alien creatures, and oh yeah, a bunch of kick ass action sequences where giant fucking robots kick each others asses.
You must enter into the film with the knowledge of this ridiculous world. Because if you’re looking for super realism, it’s better to look elsewhere (Pixar’s Ratatouille perhaps). I was shocked to learn that the budget for Transformers was somewhere around $150 million. In a day and age when a comedy film can cost over $200 million, and most of the other summer movies need to make over $1 billion to break even, it’s a relief to see a movie made so cheaply. And honestly, you can’t tell from the film. The Transformers look vivd and uber-cool. It doesn’t matter how many times you see a car transform into a big robot, it never gets old. The first transformation of Optimus Prime is EPIC. You’ll see what I mean. And there is just so much in this movie that hasn’t been shown in the movie trailers. There is more action than you could even believe. And sometimes it’s so nonstop that you might not be able to tell who is who or what exactly is going on. And yes, that might be a flaw, but I sat back and enjoyed every second of it.
And yes, Optimus talks, has lips, it’s true - its true. And yes, it’s very weird/odd looking, but you will get over it. Bay has successfully turned each of the Transformer characters into a living breathing character. They aren’t just big metal robots, they are living creatures. Without going into any spoilers, there are moments in the film where you will care for these robots like they were flesh and bones. And that is an accomplishment. I was also surprised at how much I liked the little transforming decepticon named Frenzy.
I was also surprised at how enjoyable the scenes without the transformers played, in particular, the sequences where Sam is on screen. Shia knows how to command an audience’s attention, and he was given a couple good jokes and some good dialogue to make it all worth it. And Megan Fox is good to look at, but frankly, that’s really about it. Does anyone really believe she knows anything about cars? Really now… And this is probably the only time you’ll ever see me write this but, they could have done without John Turturro. I did however enjoy Jon Voight as Defense Secretary John Keller. It was nice to see a big summer Hollywood action movie forego the cliche Presidential character for a proactive military leader.
Michael Bay is one of the flashiest directors in Hollywood today. You could take any 30 second segment out of most of his movies and it could work as a well produced television advertisement. He knows his visuals, and most people believe he goes overboard for no other reason but cool-factor. And I’ve been one of the few people who have enjoyed all of his movies, despite that fact. Transformers is not this type of film however. Gone are the over-saturated, filtered and stylized shots. Bay has matured as a visual storyteller, placing most of the big shots from a human point of view, instead of going for the easy and good looking sweeping hero crane moves we’ve come accustomed to. But it wouldn’t be a Bay movie without his patented cheese. Those cliche moments that happen in slow motion near the end of a film are uniquely Bay.
You will learn why alien creatures turn into cars. My friends always wondered how that was possible since they are earth creations. We also learn why they are called the Autobots. It’s all explained. That’s possibly one of my only complaints: too much is explained. There are scenes of exposition that are unneeded, like the opening prologue. But it’s a minor gripe.
Transformers is everything you might expect, and then some. It’s the type of movie that makes you look forward to the summer movie season. Oh yeah, and you can relive your childhood by sitting back and munching on some popcorn.
/Film Rating: 8.0 out of 10
July 2nd, 2007 at 5:03 pm
This review could seriously, SERIOUSLY do without the second paragraph. Youre not helping when you give all that away. You dont have to act as a buffer for busy story telling or inconsistencies by giving half of the story away. You say what to expect and how we should take it- we know already, the damn trailers pretty much ensure people will be following the movie beat for beat. And its transformers. Let us learn about the characters for ourselves its more intimate that way. If I only wanted epic robot fighting on a grand scale without a story to relate to I would simply watch battlebots. What Im saying is I want to be intrigued with what Im seeing and live in the moment with the movie, I know its transformers but still you gave away a lot of the liberties Bay and company took with the story.
July 2nd, 2007 at 6:27 pm
While I do agree with some of your points, I do disagree that I gave too much away. Everything I wrote in the second paragraph is contained in the one paragraph plot synopsis on imdb or any other website. Besides, 95% of the information is relayed to the audience within the first 20 minutes of the film (actually a big chunk of the plot is revealed in the first minute prologue). Trust me, I didn’t reveal too much in terms of spoilers.
July 3rd, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Mr Peter Sciretta, I got a bit confused reading your review. You moan and gripe in the body of the writing but then, at the end, you decide you like the pic after all. Not good. What is good though, is ‘Transformers.’ It was probably my best movie experience ever.
July 3rd, 2007 at 8:16 pm
I devoted two paragraphs to negativity (one of which was largely a plot synopsis), the rest of the review is for the most part positive. As a critic, I see almost every movie and it is my job to report on them objectively. Transformers has a horrible story, and in 99.9% of movies that is a deal breaker. But as I say in my review, some how despite that, this movie suceeds as this summer’s best popcorn action movie. It was also more of a precautionary warning to anyone going in expecting a more intricate story. Because for this movie to work on the “best summer action movie” level, you must sit back and let that go when you enter the theater.
July 7th, 2007 at 1:06 am
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.
The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up.The movie rocks. Shut the f**k up. PWNED
July 8th, 2007 at 1:44 am
This review is crap.. Yes it was fun to see but it had soo many problems with it
other than the crapy story..
1) Megatron was not a PLANE! he was a GUN!
2) Starscream was not a F-22! he was a F-15!
3) Bumble Bee was not a Comaro! he was a Beetle!
4) None of these transformers in the movie looked anything like the
true characters from the cartoon
5) None of these transformers could transform with any amount of believability!
Mechanically impossible and parts come out of nowhere! It was pathetic.. The very reason why they transformed so fast or so blurry on hard to see angles is for that very reason.. They should have left the characters as they were.. It would have
made the movie a billion times more popular
6) the Cube its self was a joke.. Like making a sell phone suddenly become a living transformer with robotic moving parts from something that simply didnt have any in the first place is laughable..
7) bumble bee missing his legs holding a cube that is supposed to heal him of he touches it and it doesnt? Yet that boombox guy was all fucked up and gets healed:O
8) A Cube transforming into 1 100th of its original size was incredibly retarded and not possible..
Hollywood always likes to make things their way even if it fucks up the entire movie.. Star wars being a prime example..Episodes 1 2 and 3 had the worst be rate acting ever… god was crappy love scene.. and the movie was like watching the teletubies.. made for kids.. horrible! Original rocked!
Moral of the story.. If it was never broken don’t try to fix it! I give this movie a thumbs down!
July 8th, 2007 at 1:46 am
another issue.. How does bumble bee change his structure into a new model
comaro? wtf? they can shape shift too?
July 8th, 2007 at 1:49 am
and is it just me or did optimus prime lack leadership qualities? He seemed kind of stupid and not all there in the head.. he seemed to weak as a character.. sad.. nothing like the leadership we saw in the cartoons.. :/
July 8th, 2007 at 1:51 am
I think the whole scene at the kids parents house made optimus look incredibly
stupid :/
July 9th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Listen will u just mad that u didnot make a movie like that the transfomers movie is hott they need to comeout with another i saw it 2 times get over it Go see it again because to me u r hating and u kinda stupid to put that u must b on drugs to
July 9th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Dude the movie lacked any sort of story and was hardly a Transformer quality movie.. If you can’t even get the characters right, why bother? Just call it Mech War or something.. Seriously.. Hell all Megatron had to do to avoid all the Trouble was to buy the DAMN GLASSES OF EBAY! Really how retarded is that.. Did they need to hack central command to place top bid on Ebay? What a JOKE! The story or script lacked any logical worth and it was completely a B-rate story! The whole scene at the kids parents was way too long and incredibly stupid B-rate comedy that really wasn’t funny at all.. Made Optimus look Like an idiot if not a cluts..
I will say one thing.. The action was great.. That is all this movie has going for it’s self.. rest of it is complete garbage.. This doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the movie..
July 9th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
another problem I have with this.. How does bumble bee turn into a brand spanking new camaro ? Really? Suddenly they not only transform.. but they shapeshift too..
so if they can shapeshift wtf is the point of transforming? Another retarded aspect
that this director was too idiotic to understand..
July 9th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
okay will the way they transformed into a new car was when he was on two wheels his head is under the ca so since his head is under the car when he was on to wheels his eyes examined the car and turned into that same car it was and the GLASSES HAD A CODE IN IT THAT SHOWED WHERE THE CUBE IS AND THE CUBE HAS ALL POWER RIGHT SO WHO EVER HAD THE CUBE HAS ALL POWER OF CYBERTRON THE ROBOT WORLD OKAY NOW DO U GET IT IT WASNT JUST FOR GLASSES IT WAS ACTUALLY FOR THE CUBE TO TAKE CONTROL OF ALL POWER OKAY SINCE MEGATRON TOOK POWER HE MADE ALLOF THE OTHER TRANSFORMERS MISERABLE SO OPTIMUS TOOK OVER AND TRYED TO GET THE CUBE MAYBE U NEED TO WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN BECUASE U ARENT REALLY GETTING THIS
July 10th, 2007 at 12:20 am
Err we know it was for the CUBE moron.. They were after the glasses so they could get the cube.. All they had to do was buy them off EBAY rather than chasing the boy down or attacking some base to hack central command to get all this BS info.. Dude… the fact that Bumble bee changed into another car is my point exactly.. Not like he TRANSFORMED INTO THAT CAR! Shape Shifting into other objects when you are clearly not of that other object is rediculously stupid.. If you are transformer you are don’t shape shift. THis isn’t Star Trek DS9 with shape shifters who can look at things and become those things.. Hes a FN ROBOT! You can’t just change your mechanical make-up.. The movie clearly stated that Starscream and the others were there well before the Auto Bots.. BTW The Cube Never had anything to do with how transformers came into existence! Read the comics and watch the cartoon..
Directors like this destroying and making a joke out such Iconic classics.. It would be like making Wizzard of Oz Remake and totally fucking up who was what or who and making them do things they obvious can’t do and claiming it was or how it was!.. Retards!
July 10th, 2007 at 12:24 am
‘Hell all Megatron had to do to avoid all the Trouble was to buy the DAMN GLASSES OF EBAY!’
Wow Will… I’ve read a bunch of reviews and this is the first time I’ve come upon a comment like this one. Admittedly, it makes sense and points out a huge plot hole. I wonder what the makers of the movie have to say about this.
July 10th, 2007 at 12:26 am
‘If you are transformer you are don’t shape shift. THis isn’t Star Trek DS9 with shape shifters who can look at things and become those things.. Hes a FN ROBOT! You can’t just change your mechanical make-up.. ‘
I like to think of them as being made up of nanobots or something.
July 10th, 2007 at 12:39 am
Lauren the Transformers were not made of nanobots.. even the movie explained that.. Based off Quantum Mechanics.. This doesn’t give you the ability to change your structural or mechanical make-up.. Transformers wouldn’t need to Transform if they could just shapes shift.. There would be no point.. They may as well called the movie Shape Shifters.. it’s stupid. If you are going to make a movie about a specific cartoon or comic.. Make it accurate for gods sake! If you can’t do that and you want to do your own thing with the Name Transformers then make your own characters and plot / history with your own idea.. No point in Using Megatron if you can’t figure out how to Use his actual Character within your movie..
At the very least they could have made the transformers mechanically possible in their transformations like the cartoons or toys vs a graphic illusion that obviously doesn’t ..
July 10th, 2007 at 12:45 am
Man I hope the guy who did Lord of The Rings does a remake.. At least he would keep it as close as possible to what it should be and would make some cheesy loop whole, b-rated script with lame comedy scene that makes it’s characters look completely stupid..
July 10th, 2007 at 12:47 am
*Wouldn’t make some* typo fix for post above
July 10th, 2007 at 12:51 am
I must have missed that part on the quantum mechanics bit. Well, maybe its how the Allspark sets things up; the Allspark law of nature.
Back to the ebay plot hole: Mr Peter Sciretta, what have you to say about this? Feel free to join in anytime.
July 10th, 2007 at 12:57 am
There should be no ALLpark.. the Idea the an energy form can create and manipulate mechanical design and makeup is laughable.. Transformers was never based off this Mighty God Cube.. He went into fantasy world well beyond what Transformers was all about.. It was just pathetic :/
July 10th, 2007 at 1:14 am
The movie makers tried to follow this trend of grounding things in reality a bit, like what the guy who made LOTR did with King Kong. I think it was a valid move by Michael Bay, otherwise you’d have a movie that would only appeal to 10 yo kids. I’d like to see Transformers to be logically waterproof too, but that’s hard to achieve with a movie on sentient, transforming robots, even if you would explain away anything impossible to something almighty alien like the Allspark.
July 10th, 2007 at 11:27 am
Saw it last night. Wasn’t crazy about it. Too much heavy Michael Bay brushwork and stock characters. Not enough Transformers. Plus I found the casting of the tech who looks like the guy from “Ain’t It Cool News” grating … more grating than the super-hot Australian vixen techie.
July 10th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
Will sut the fuck up and fuckin listen to me ok first u dont fucking call me moron second ur not getting this trird ur dumb ass is just hating that u cant make a movie like this ok soo shut the fuck up and stop hating
July 10th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Deja, This has nothing to do with my ability to make a movie.. If I was so dumb I wouldn’t be the only one here that seems to understand the obvious flaws in this movie.. My saying moron refers only to your statements and not in general as a human.. And I love how you call my statements that point out the movies flaws as hating with the inability to realize that they are facts you simply can’t accept.. Face it… He fucked up the entire meaning of what and who the transformers were.. It’s a laughable joke because how can you mess up such a simplistic concept??
————————————————————————————–
“The movie makers tried to follow this trend of grounding things in reality a bit, like what the guy who made LOTR did with King Kong. I think it was a valid move by Michael Bay, otherwise you’d have a movie that would only appeal to 10 yo kids. I’d like to see Transformers to be logically waterproof too, but that’s hard to achieve with a movie on sentient, transforming robots, even if you would explain away anything impossible to something almighty alien like the Allspark.”
————————————————————————————–
There was no trend to ground things to reality.. This isn’t reality.. Transformers are not based in reality.They merely follow basic rules withing reality (such as the cartoon clearly holds these characters in robotic form unable to shape shift..they were robots with souls or life given to them by the power source from within their mechanical bodies..). These are fictional movies.. Guy who made King Kong didn’t change much vs the older ones.. He just made it more believable.. Transformers or King Kong do not just appeal to 10 year olds.. Making a movie based off the cartoon with accurate representation would still have been kick ass..
This director could have easily made a serious movie by sticking to what the transformers really were… Otherwise in my view..these were not transformers..
And not it is not hard to achieve what he failed at.. It’s not hard to make the story true to the cartoon or comics.. Its not hard to make characters accurate representations of what they were or who they were or where they really came from.. This movie was about them.. Why did he have to change it so drastically to the point of total fuck up? I can see giving Optimus a new paint job or something minor to make it more modern day.. I didn’t even mind that they made them more of a living being than the cartoons.. There is a line to the point where you go so far that it becomes you making your own creative work or movie vs making a remake based of something you should be following and laying down rules that keep it as it should be.. Like I said.. he may as well have called the movie Shape shifters becuase the movie was so far from what it was based on that it can’t really be identified as being apart of Transformers..
The point people are making is the story sucked ass “which it did” with obvious gaping holes…
The script was a POS..
Transformers are not Shape shifters.. If this is too hard for you to understand then you ought not try to reply.. “why transform when you can shape shift..?” should be a big clue as to how botched this bs Movie script was..
Obvious in your face advertisement of Ebay as if you were watching a tranformer commercial for Ebay was retarded.. I understand Ebay probably paid a fortune to do that.. All it lead to was a retarded hole in the story and plot that made it completely stupid and useless..
The Transformers were nothing like the Cartoon.. The history and facts and representation of what they were and where they came from and how they work or who they were, was totally botched and screwed up..
The transformers in this movie did not transform.. they were graphic illusions with no mechanical design like the toy line or cartoons.. Why have transformers that can’t actually transform?
—————————————————————
So.. if the movie had:
1) kept starscream as a f-15
2) megatron as a gun (acruate to the cartoon)
3) bumble bee as a beetle
4) ditched the whole Ebay Paid Commercial fuck up
5) Ditched the idea of shape shifting that contradicts the idea Of Mechanical
robotic transformers
6) Made Optimus more serious and leader like and not a clutsy half wit trying to
hide in the boys backyard..
7) Cept to the history as to how the transformers really came about and ditched
the AllSpark crap “lame attempt to introduce that religious belief of intelligent
design that had no right to play a role in the transformer universe”
8) Ditched the idea you could take and ordinary electronic device and suddenly
make it have the mechanical ability to transform..
9) Had given it a much more of a kickass story or plot..
I would have given the movie two thumbs up instead of two thumbs down.. Btw I still enjoyed the action in the movie.. That is the only part they did well..
July 10th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
would it have been so hard? really.. these people didn’t give a rats ass about the
Transformers.. It was about making money.. If Ebay says we will pay you x million for a plot killing advertisement so be it is how they think and obviously thought and
did.. Changing the concept and character and story ectra to make it more cool in their eyes for the kids so be it they say.. Doesn’t or didn’t matter to them that everything they did totally contradicted what or who the transformers were.. Just put in kick ass fight scenes you have a blockbuster… Fuck it if the story is fucked with bs plot and retarded script.. My Computer animated fight scenes and fake transformations is going to make me big bucks.. Hell toss in shape shifting for good measure and a God Cube of creation..
LAME!
July 10th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
I’ve started a thread at http://www.donmurphy.net/board/showthread.php?t=21157 . It’s titled ‘eBay Plot Hole in Transformers’. If you will, Will.
July 11th, 2007 at 12:48 am
Lauren if they could hack central command the would have a had a very easy time hacking Ebay.. or Paypal for that matter.. wouldn’t be hard to steal the money? hack the money digitally? really.. So much easier to plug into the itnernet and hack vs Going to central command and fighting an entire war.. BTW it wasn’t Megatron that would be bidding on it.. Starscream I believe was in charge.. Megatron couldn’t because he was frozen..
July 11th, 2007 at 12:59 am
To make matters worse.. Even if they didn’t bid on it and went after the boy.. Funny enough that only Bumble Bee was there to protect him.. would have been an easy one night war .. :/ either way the story has a huge hole in it.. Would have been easier to attack the boys house and bumble bee than go after central command lol..
July 11th, 2007 at 1:25 am
Yes Will, in the meantime I’m getting lambasted at donmurphy.net for the eBay Plot Hole.
July 11th, 2007 at 1:34 am
Mostly because you quoted me and I had a technical mistake in there saying megatron instead of deceptacons.. Most of them will do so because they are like fanboys who don’t get how retarded the Ebay thing was..
Sure the Auto bots could have had a bid war.. That alone tells you how stupid the Ebay thing is.. It’s utterly stupid.. And notice later in that post someone clearly told them how it could have happened and suddenly nobody replied or labasted him.. why? Because DING! IT COULD OF HAPPENED!… Like I said.. If anything at all.. bumble bee would have had his ass kicked by the entire Decepticon gang the first night he was there! Such a shitty plot and story :/ The movie fan boys probably don’t even know Megatron was really a Gun.. :/
July 11th, 2007 at 1:38 am
BTW the Ebay thing wasn’t my biggest gripe.. That could have been a small little annoyance vs the 8 other things that they fucked up on.. Which were far more damaging than the Ebay issue..
July 11th, 2007 at 1:47 am
Enlighten me Will.
July 11th, 2007 at 1:53 am
I have a list above of 9 things that drove me to give this movie a thumbs down..
its all in my previous posts..
July 11th, 2007 at 2:22 am
Interesting reply at donmurphy.net:
‘It’s like looking for holes in a syphon, there is no e-bay plot hole if you read the comics sam puts the glasses on e-bay and that is when the search starts.. you could wonder why the decepticons can hack and paralyze the system but not extract data from e-bay and link that to the american social security system.’
July 11th, 2007 at 8:59 am
They could have easily done so.. Hacking Ebay would be far easier than hacking central command.. THey could have easily hacked a user account anyways.. And oddly Bumble Bee seemed to have no trouble finding the boy within a day.. So I find this a major plot issue.. BTW they wouldnt need to link his data to a social security system.. all the boys data would be in his Ebay account information.. BTW Ebay wasnt around in the 80’s.. where did you get the Ebay connection with the 80’s cartoon/comics?
July 11th, 2007 at 9:04 am
I find it funny that they argue a point as if it was impossible for the decepticons to hack ebay or get the boys info.. lol.. Seriously THINK ABOUT IT! If you can HACK CENTRAL COMMAND! HACKING EBAY AND EBAY COUNTS IS A PIECE OF CAKE! My god they make it sound as if Ebay is god of Hack proof data.. :/
July 11th, 2007 at 9:05 am
counts = accounts
July 11th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
A funny and interesting reply to the eBay Plot Hole:
Listen, sponge-for-a-brain. First you say you don’t get credit for the e-bay plothole because it was another guy in a forum. Yet, you parrot his innane nonsense like if it was the bible of all movie logic. This. is. a fucking. movie. Why not let Leia rot with Vader? Why not build a fucking catapult and throw the fucking ring into the fucking volcano and be done with it? How come Goku, no matter how fucked up, always ends wining in the end with yet another Saiyan level? The answer is simple, stupid. Because the writers wrote it that way. The robots, from another planet and culture find that they have this curious system called the internet. They start searching it. It takes some time to find, filter and analyze key words like Allspark (if they actually call it like that in Cybertroneese), Cube, Megatron. It wasn’t until Frenzy hacked into the government intraweb that he found out about S7 and Whitwiky (or howeve it is spelled). Meanwhile, BB found a way to find this information first and try to infiltrate into Sam’s life (Bolivia plot). Autobots, being the nice guys they are opted to ask the kid nicely. The Decepticons, being a little behind in the race, tried to do some mayhem. All sorts of hilarity and action ensues (with some Megan eye candy).
This movie didn’t have anything to do with e-Bay in the sense that maybe, for these alien robots from another planet or culture either saw e-Bay as a source of information (wait for Wiki in the sequel) or that they didn’t want to bother with humans way of handling currency, mail, bidding and all that suff that for some reason you think it would have been fun to see in the movie. (”I’m sorry Sam, I know I bid 1 million for the glasses, but I’m a little short on the moolah right now.” “Fuck you Prime”).
The e-Bay plothole does not exist it was just something to try to pull today’s computer and internet addicted audience into the plot just enough for them to say “oh, so that’s how BB knew how to search for Sam”
Now, go suck on a donkey stick or something…..
July 11th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
LOL wow they get defensive over the Ebay hole.(the fact it was possible makes it a hole). If you even took the time to read my posts you would understand that the Ebay paid commercial(which was what I was more annoyed about) in the movie was what was retarded.. I stated a possible hole in the plot as a result.. And yes it was a movie.. a Botched movie.. Read above.. My biggest gripe had to do more with the transformers them selves than The retarded Ebay commercial in the movie.. So perhaps you should realize the real reasons why this script/plot and anything it tried to do to be a transformer movie was all just a pile bs crap.. Sad that people like you defend such shit writing/scripting.. This movie could have been shit loads better under a team who knows wtf they are doing when recreating such things as the transformers into a movie.. This is like so many video game movies that come out totally retarded… Get a director that knows his shit.. Someone from the harry potter camp or LOTR camp.. because atleast they can do a decent movie based off books..
Hole point in the end.. Don’t bother making a movie based of a book, cartoon, or comic if you are just going to fuck it all up and make your own creation or movie anyway! He basically Used the Name and few known Characters (that weren’t even who they really were) to make money off his own fucked ideas as if he never watched a single Transformer episode in his life..
July 11th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
where i put you I meant to put they should realize..
July 12th, 2007 at 12:53 am
Another post at donmurphy.net:
‘Okay.. this guy over at slashfilm is full of it..
He really wonders how it is possible for transformers to scan other objects and assume their form, worrying about “shapeshifting on the fly” while not realizing that’s how they acquire their first alt-mode as well. He’s baffled by this thing called the Allspark and pretty much denies it’s function because it simply was not in G1. He keeps with his point that the transformations in the movie are incorrect and the G1 toys are the epitome of all that is good in transforming robots.
Laurens, vriend, stop listening to this guy, Will. He is trolling the slashfilm review and you are biting his bait! You’re not as easily convinced by him as you are by Geert Wilders, right?’
July 12th, 2007 at 12:58 am
Just wondering.. if the Allspark is such a bad idea.. what about the Matrix then (Creation matrix / Matrix of life) can Decepticons fly without propulsion? can all transformers mass-shift at the blink of an eye?
I think doing a Movie nowadays with all the awkwardness of G1 would result in one VERY bad movie.
July 12th, 2007 at 1:06 am
Does Will know who Geert Wilders is then?
July 12th, 2007 at 1:07 am
I don’t know who GW is myself.
July 12th, 2007 at 1:42 am
You speak dutch.. I assumed you were dutch.. GW is a right wing dutch politician
July 12th, 2007 at 2:08 am
Yes, but I emigrated in 1987.
July 12th, 2007 at 2:13 am
Smart choice.. very smart.. where you live now then?
July 12th, 2007 at 2:31 am
In the wilderness that is Indonesia.
July 12th, 2007 at 2:37 am
At least your transformer toys are cheaper.. you’re an original indonesian and returned along with your family or this is job related?
July 12th, 2007 at 2:44 am
Toys are not cheaper here. The prices are simply converted from dollars to rupiah and that’s that. I’m Indonesian.
July 12th, 2007 at 3:00 am
Import them from taiwan for that matter.. it’s what I do and it really saves you of half the price.
July 14th, 2007 at 12:03 am
“He really wonders how it is possible for transformers to scan other objects and assume their form, worrying about “shapeshifting on the fly†while not realizing that’s how they acquire their first alt-mode as well. He’s baffled by this thing called the Allspark and pretty much denies it’s function because it simply was not in G1. He keeps with his point that the transformations in the movie are incorrect and the G1 toys are the epitome of all that is good in transforming robots.”
wtf? This is how stupid this comment was.. Although he is correct.. that transforming is a form or shapeshifting.. However, Transformers could never look at objects and shape shift ito objects there were not.. Shape shifting mechanical structure makes transforming obsolete and incredible stupid.. They wouldn’t need to transform.. they could just look at megatron and become him.. Yeah..wtf ??? Sorry Robots being able to shape shift thier mechanical structure is complete BULL SHIT! Show me an episode anywhere in the transformer comic or cartoon from the original series that shows them looking at shit and shape shifting into various objects.. YOU CAN’T! it Defies the very reason for TRANSFORMING! DURR! On transforming so fast.. I don’t care how fast they can..The point about the movie is that they don’t actually transform..unlike the cartoons and toy lines.. That is the problem with the movie..
Only a shit writer and director couldn’t make a great movie out of the original transformer cartoons and comics.. Willing to be someone could have..
On the Allspark.. Point of it being bs.. Is this is the directors own creation.. Was never part of the Transformers.. If he had used the matrix that would have been a totally different story..
July 14th, 2007 at 12:06 am
“Although he is correct.. that transforming is a form or shapeshifting.. However, Transformers could never look at objects and shape shift ito objects there were not.. Shape shifting mechanical structure makes transforming obsolete and incredible stupid..”
Although he is correct.. that transforming is a form of shapeshifting.. However, Transformers could never look at objects and shape shift into objects they were not.. Shape shifting mechanical structure makes transforming obsolete and incredibly stupid..
July 14th, 2007 at 7:38 am
First episode of the Transformers cartoon has Soundwave transformed as a full size lightpost on a road where (i believe wheeljack and bumblebee) pass.
here’s the youtube video, scene is at 4 minutes exactly: http://youtube.com/watch?v=t9Ghg1zd19U
Actually the whole first episode has the TF’s use their earth robot forms but Cybertronian alt-modes.
Maybe not on the topic of shape shifting but what about Hounds incredibly stupid “full matter hologram projector” in the first season i think (i’d have to look for the comic or cartoon) hound projects a hologram of an enormous gestalt/combiner to combat devastator.
Untill YOU can explain how all decepticons can fly in G1 and the autobots not, only THEN you have a valid ground to complain about this movie.. btw, where does OP’s trailer go all the time in the cartoon?
July 15th, 2007 at 12:17 am
Even the cartoon had taken it too far then.. Remember these were based off a
toy line.. The movie took it well beyond even resembling the cartoon.. The cartoon the characters pretty much held true to the toys..and actually could transform physically and mechanically.. The movies transformers do no transform.. they are
a graphic mess of an illusion.. That is a big problem right there alone.. OP’s trailer in the cartoon was assumed not to have a role in the cartoons.. However, the toy had its trailer transform into a base of some sort.. Mechanical beings could possible have two parts to them.. If you notice in the cartoons all the robots in their robot form were
already of their Earth based form.. The cartoon screws it all up and has Starscream
transform into a space ship when his robot form clearly shows the F-15 wings and parts.. So basically the cartoons are all messed as well.. I don’t think the original idea behined transformers is to have magical shape shifting abilities.. It just defeats the entire purpose of transforming mechanical living beings.. I just feel they should have made mechanical sense out of these as did the toy line…
My movie gripes were : shape shifting, Ebay commercial, Characters not as who they were in the cartoons *starscream f-15, megatron gun…ectra*, bad story and plot, Allspark not apart of the history..
I was fine with Optimus prime being a truck.. I wasn’t fine with them making him look stupid at the boys house in some retarded or lame attempt at comedy.. I loved the idea of making them more of a living being.. Just annoying when they completely screw things up.. I guess I just demand them to make it more believable without the use of magical things like shapeshifting and changing characters to what ever they please..
in the end.. just too many things that defy the idea of being a transformer..
July 15th, 2007 at 12:25 am
sorry post failure seemed to have caused a double post.. :/
July 18th, 2007 at 3:55 am
Disclaimer: Michael Bay kicked a huge part of my childhood in the junk and wandered off, pinky extended from a glass of overpriced wine, bottom jaw jutting out, laughing like he was taking a stroll through the Hamptons.
The original origins of Transformers the cartoon had it that the Autobots were ripping through space on the Ark, their ship, when they were attacked by the Decepticons. During the fight, all hell breaks loose and they crash landed on earth at the base of a volcano millions of years before the present. The volcano stirred and seismic activity reactivated the Ark’s computers. Seeing it’s crew disabled, it sent out probes to identify the strongest lifeforms on the planet with the intent to rebuild the crew in their image thus giving them the best chance for survival. Seeing all the vehicles sheppherding the tiny hairless monkeys around, it made them in that image.
AMAZING.
The odd thing is, I thought I’d be incredibly mad over this new movie. It doesn’t count. It’s like a guy whose face looks like a pepperoni pizza sending flowers to your girlfriend, you’re just not threatened by it. It’s more sad than anything.
Did anyone notice this movie was a play by play of Independence Day? Goofy idiots suddenly rubbing shoulders with the top echelons of the U.S. Defense Dept., crazy viruses that were kind enough to add bad visuals giving you a play by play of how they were gutting your network, enough bastardization of sound signal visualization to make any audio engineer cringe, goofy humans you have no emotional attachment to whatsoever taking down giant hulking alien machinery in a completely stupid way (nice motorcycle.), and my personal favourite, grinding the movie to a halt to bring civilians up to speed on secret military operations.
“Ok, so while the Decepticons are enroute, give me your cell phone and we can play with robots for a few minutes. After that I’ll show you a big frozen robot that will defrost in six minutes… which is neat because we brought it to the desert in the 30s without it melting.”
… that followed by a 2 hour drive to… New York? Chicago? Didn’t look like any city near the Hoover Dam that I know of.
I’m tempted to urinate on any Panisonic, HP, or GM product I see now. I also want to use Deloitte & Touche and eBay’s services as toilet paper. Ridiculous product placement, how long was the shot paused for when she took that Panasonic memory card out of the card reader the government conveniently provided in it’s super top secret critical analysis facility?
When people ask me how the Transformers movie was, I’ll tell them it was absolutely great. 10 out of 10. 2 thumbs up and a raging erection. You should’ve seen Unicron blow up, it was awesome.
July 19th, 2007 at 5:34 am
I don’t have time to debunk all your piss-poor arguments Will, but in the film, “Quantum Mechanics” referred to modern cryptographic methods predicted to supercede things such as Fourier Transfers, based on the superposition of states in Quantum Theory. She was talking about the way the bot was hacking their database, not about the bots’ composition. Don’t try to incorporate concepts you have no understanding of into your arguments in future.
Everything else you’ve typed that I could be bothered to read is also flawed, which is impressive considering how much you have written. Of course there are plotholes, it’s an action movie, but you seem unable to find them or express them coherently, because you’re a retard.
July 19th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
thanx hi u r really right wills is just not mature 4 his age it is a movie k it has been about 3 weeks and u keep on arguing over a movie get over it grow up
July 20th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Real simple to grasp people.. How to mechanical robots or living robots shape shift on the fly.. How can mechanical transformers mechanically transform into things they clearly don’t have the parts for.. How does a 6ft robot that turns into a radio suddenly become the same 6tf robot that turns into a little itty bitty cell phone.. People the mechanics of this movie is fucked.. if they can just look and scan things and then shape shift into what they scan..there is no point to transforming.. I would think the most mind challenged person here could figure that out.. All it would become is them scanning each other to become Megatron or Optimus Prime.. Why be little bumble bee when you can just scan Megatron and become him.. it kills the entire point! This goes beyond mechanics to the realm of magic.. The point that none of the transformers actually even transform is pathetic.. How do you call a movie based off a toy line transformers when your movie characters only shape shift into what ever they want even though they don’t have the mechanical parts to do so..
You people are blind.. its not about maturity, it’s about the logic within the film.. It’s called an opinion.. You liked the movie..great.. But you act as if it made any sort of logical sense..
You are right.. you won’t dubunk this because you would look like an idiot trying to debunk why or how mechanical creatures could magically shape shift.. Toy line make mechanical sense.. this movie is just complete crap in regards to its logic..
July 22nd, 2007 at 2:08 am
Some holes and illogic
1. The robots have advanced weapons, as demostrated at the start of the movie. But later, most fighting was done by knocking each other around, with the bad bots just standing around waiting to be wasted.
2. All the humans was acting cool and stupid and irrational. Sam sure took his sweet time trying to find the glasses. And telling the autobots to shut the hell up? And when he found the glasses, he doesn’t give it to the autobots?? He blackmails people, locks them up, and humiliates them while the earth is on the verge of being taken over by robots? He could’ve just told people that Bumblebee was a Friendly, he never did. Why did the autobots even bothered with Sam once they got the glasses already? The autobots got the glasses and it takes them forever to drive around to get to the cube?
3. The scorpion bot? Weak? Useless? Disappeared? Stupid? Acting drunk? On drugs?
4. All these years and Megatron wasn’t disassembled? This is while Bumblebee was being shocked with electricity for no apparent reason?? Why couldn’t the autobots have explained themselves to the section 7 people? Why did they have to run and seek? Even after Bumblebee was captured?
5. Why was the section 7 guy acting like he’s an agent of megatron? Can he be anymore obnoxious and stupid and acting against the interest of the entire human race?
6. Why would any sane person throw away advanced military technology when they just had their butts kicked by a few alien robots?? Especially when several bad robots remains unaccounted for? Dumb?? Section 7, which gave Earth all the modern technologies and knew the most about the alien robots, was disbanded?? And the BEST way to destroy alien technology is by throwing it into the ocean?
7. Can Mikaela be any more shallow? She sees Sam fell off his bike and then she for no reason chases after him?? She was not at all attracted to Sam, she sees alien robots graveling to Sam, Sam is key to the survival of the human species, blah, blah… She makes out with Sam when just a few days ago she was with another jock??
8. 3 bad robots can fly and none of the autobots can fly and the best plan was for Sam to run to the top of a faraway building and light a signal telling everyone that he’s there???
9. So Bumblebee and Sam have the cube. They say that want to destroy it? But then they don’t attempt to do anything to destroy it and they just run around like headless chickens?? To the city… why? So a lot of people can die??? Take the cube to the military?? Why?? What for??
10. Why does section 7 spent all those time explaining everything when the earth is in danger of being taken over by robots? Section 7 doesn’t interogate or askes questions and Sam had to give important information by casually blurbing it out?
11. The small robot couldn’t have just cut off power supplies, targeted the old communications equipment or…? Why did he act all stupid like a headless chicken? It can hack into the pentagon in 10 seconds and it killed himself by cutting his own head off??
12. With the level of firepower showed in Qatar of just one bad bot, the decepticons could’ve leveled the entire city, they could’nt even kill a few humans shooting at them constantly and doing damages? how can they keep missing? How can all the humans mysteriously survive all the explosions and firepower?
13. Why did Megatron have to ask Sam nicely for the cube first? Why would he care? He could’ve just reached over, grabbed the whole column, squeezed Sam into a pulp and take the cube.
14. Why didn’t Megatron made sure Prime was really finished off? Megatron was frozen solid for decades and he can speak in English the moment he awakens?
15. Optimus Prime was telling Sam to put the cube into his chest and the next moment, the cube is melting into Megatron??
16. The autobots have absolutely nothing better to do than to watch Sam and Mikaela make out and possibly “mate” on top of Bumblebee’s hood??
17. Bumblebee was lighting a signal into the sky like batman, why? Optimus Prime was still in space at that moment.
18. The decepticons had to hack into the pentagon network several times to know about the glasses, but Prime just crashed on Earth and he knew all about it, and the internet and stuff… and Prime couldn’t sent an email to Sam and explain the situation beforehand?
19. The cellphone robot was with Sam all those times and it didn’t tried to steal the glasses, call the other robots to attack, or do anything at all??
20. A fat computer game player who acts like a dumbass is the best hacker possible? The audio data suddenly and magically appeared as alien language characters and those were decoded back into english information???
Why was everyone acting all stupid like headless chickens and doing things for absolutely no reason?? A 4 year old could’ve wrote a better script and the movie could’ve been much better.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
dude. shit blew up, and the robots looked awesome. that’s why i went. and i was satisfied.
August 8th, 2007 at 7:26 am
that argument in the middle is just a bit lame, the point of the comics and the cartoons when u were 6 was to sit and enjoy the 30 mins it was on for, and thats exactly what this film is about sitting back and enjoying a kickassed film, so what, they changed things, but thats because its the MODERNISED version, in the first scene when u see bumblebee, he is priced at 5k, and right next to him is a YELLOW VW BEETLE hello? thats for u lot!!! and jazz the saleen/what ever he is, before shia gets his car they drive thru the porche garage, again another in joke.
Another thing, that to me is pretty obvious, is that if the cube is a 1/100th of its size then its in transport mode or what ever so it wouldnt heal, just expend f*cking great big large ammounts of energy.
So really guys just chill with the arguements, think back to when u were 6-10 and watch the movie as a 7 year old THEN you will love it!!!
January 12th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
please make transformers 2
January 12th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Please make transformers 2
January 12th, 2008 at 11:43 pm
^ They will…
January 13th, 2008 at 11:12 am
well you say that, but at the moment directors are having “artistic differences”, according to roumers lol! how annoying!